Plan B is the new Plan A
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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