the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
