i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
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She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
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You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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