i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
