The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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