Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
