Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Last time i carry you out of a forest
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
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