smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
MIDGETS
????
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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