True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize