How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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