Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
