i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
