If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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