This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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