I accidentally had phone sex last night
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize