Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
