Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
