Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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