Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
