It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He? As in you personified your dick?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
