she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dick very happy bro
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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