It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
