I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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