I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
