if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize