I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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