I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
