i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My liver just broke up with me...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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