Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
