Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
