took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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