Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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