He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
