i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
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You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
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He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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