Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
