i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize