some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
