Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
