i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
