we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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