we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The uberlube is also flammable
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
