Even the bartender felt bad for me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
