Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
