Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
