was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
