I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you didnt know i had herpes?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
