Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
