If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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