Little spoons don't ask big questions
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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