We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
