I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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