I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
