You work out of a Hotel?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
