Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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