How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
