I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
