Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
