is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
