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  I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.

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• Whatever it is you're doing, you're doing it wrong.

  Submitted by wubbazugg on Sep 22, 11 at 12:11pm

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• You better beat his ass with a pan or something. I'd kill someone if they did that.

  Submitted by EatmeTwice on Sep 22, 11 at 12:58pm

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• He just grabbed it to learn your name and now he's using it to buy the breakfast you promised him...and porn.

  Submitted by jonathan171 on Sep 22, 11 at 3:33pm

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• I bet this girl is easy… super easy

  Submitted by ck24 on Sep 22, 11 at 12:30pm

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• He is "The most interesting man in the world"!!!!

  Submitted by porksword on Sep 22, 11 at 11:05am

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• First

  Submitted by firstfirst on Sep 22, 11 at 10:36am

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• I'm loving all the references to other texts on this site. Well played Internet trolls. Oh, and porkswords definatly the funniest guy on here.

  Submitted by Erotophobia on Sep 23, 11 at 1:20am

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• Clearly you didn't deliver on the sex, and hes getting some breakfast...

  Submitted by gamestar73 on Sep 15, 12 at 3:00pm

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