I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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