are you still at the devil's house?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize