So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
