I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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