You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Sober January is a disaster.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
