The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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