Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
