Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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