So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
