he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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