I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
