remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
