'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize